


Self-conscious

by Shinhia



Series: Zude Prompts Series [3]
Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Body Worship, Fluff and Smut, Insecurities, M/M, reassurance, self-consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 05:48:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6317020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinhia/pseuds/Shinhia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jude's being self-conscious about his body after noting how Zero is always around hot men, with perfect sets of abs. Jude then hides his body from his lover until Zero confronts him about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Self-conscious

**Author's Note:**

> **Here's another prompt I got. The anon asked for something really specific, I hope you'll like what I came up with. I got to thank you cause this one really inspired me, you'll probably notice seeing how long it turned out to be. xoxo. Enjoy the reading, guys. Love Ya'll. Sin.**
> 
>  
> 
> **  
> **  
> The Prompt was:  
>  _"Jude stops by Zero working out with the rest of the team and Zero asks him to work out with them, wanting to spend a little time with Jude between hectic schedules. But Jude gets really self-conscious seeing all of them shirtless and knowing Zero is constantly surrounded by these perfect abs which he doesn't have. Later when Jude fesses up, Zero shows him exactly how much he loves Jude's body."_  
> 

Their schedules had been crazy lately. What with the season now being full on and the Devils facing one of their most dangerous opponent this week. Seeing each other had suffered the consequences of it and it's briefly before crashing for the night or leaving for the Arena in the morning that Jude and Zero were able to have a short moment together lately.

Both of them were reaching their breaking point, fed up with the situation, Jude decided he would try and have a moment of catching up with his boyfriend. He knew the team was currently working out in the gym and he was free of any appointments for thirty minutes.

* * *

 

When he entered the room the entire team was there, the majority of the guys shirtless, working out on different machines here and there. Jude barely noticed any of them, finding Zero being the only thing he had in mind. Doing a quick scan of the room, he spotted the blond man busy lifting weights on one of the bench on the left part of the room. Breathing in, Jude made his way over to his lover trying to ignore the curious glances following his every step.

 

“Hey.” He said, once next to Zero. The blond man stopping his lifting to smile at Jude,

“Hey yourself. What brings you here?” Zero asked him, starting another series of ten lifts with his left arm. Jude followed the movement with hungry eyes his insides twisting slightly each time he watched Zero's muscles flex.

“I had a few minutes to spare, I figured I'd come see how you're doing and everything. We barely have time to talk these days.”

Zero smiled at Jude's uneasiness, it was clear the brunet had come down to the gym on impulse and now that he was there he didn't really know how to excuse his presence in the room with the entire team busy working out.

“I know. It sucks. But once we've beat Boston, everything will settle down. The coach has had us training like crazy for this game.” Zero explained, his face showing how much he was bothered by the situation, then asked:

“What about your side of the Arena?”

“Well, with the league on my back now that I'm the one in charge of the Devils, Oscar constantly breathing down mine and Lionel's necks and Sloane Hayes being....well...Sloane Hayes. I'm about to completely lose it.”

“Hey, why don't you join us and release some steam?” Zero suddenly asked him, putting his weights down on the floor. “The guys are cool, you could totally train with us and forget about all of it. And it'll allow us to spend some time together.” He added, his eyes meeting Jude's. “What do you say?” Zero asked softly before confessing in a whisper, “spend some time with me. I'm really starting to miss my man.”

“I don't know,” Jude mumbled throwing a glance glance around the gym. He suddenly felt very self-conscious about his body and how it would be exposed in this gym. All those shirtless men working out with Zero. Shirtless men with perfect sets of abs that his boyfriend was surrounded with all day every day. Jude wondered what Zero found attractive in him when he had hot men sweating and hanging around him half naked, and even totally naked if Jude thought about the showers in the lockers room, like that on a daily basis.

“I can't, sorry.” He quickly said, even though he still had plenty of time to spare hanging with his lover. “My next appointment is in less than five minutes, I need to go. I'll see you later, okay.”

“Okay...” Zero babbled, confused by Jude's sudden need to rush out of the gym.

“Don't overdo yourself, we don't want you getting hurt.” Jude said quickly before turning around and leaving the room in a hurry.

 

Derek, who was passing by, asked Zero:

 

“Hey what's with your man, dude?”

“He had an appointment to go to.” Zero answered absentmindedly.

“You sure, he looked like the room was on fire or something.”

 

Zero kept quiet, thinking over Derek's words. What was with Jude?

* * *

 

 

It was late when Jude finally made it home a few days later. The Devils had won against Boston but he'd been stuck with the board and the league after the match. Needless to say he was exhausted and starving by the time he'd made it out of the endless meeting the league insisted on holding after the game.

Shrugging off his jacket and shoes, he made his way to the bedroom and heard the shower was running in the bathroom which meant that Zero hadn't stayed for the after party at the Playground and probably decided to come home straight after the game. Undressing quickly, Jude put on a t-shirt and one of his lover's sweatpants. Since that episode at the gym he'd felt uneasy wandering half naked in the apartment when Zero was there too. He'd even thanked their hectic schedules and Pete intensive training as they were both way too tired to do anything else but sleep together. Zero hadn't commented on the fact Jude seemed more distant and uncomfortable having his lover see him naked lately but Jude knew deep down Zero had noticed what was going on and it was only a matter of time before Zero confronted him about it.

Going for the kitchen in order to find something to calm his hunger, he tried his best making the less noise possible when he heated some of the Chinese leftovers he'd found in the fridge and settled on one of the kitchen's chairs to eat them out of the box. He hoped that if he waited long enough to go back into the bedroom and spend enough time showering then maybe Zero would have fallen asleep in between and Jude wouldn't have to come clean tonight and tell him what really was going on. He heard his lover come out of the bathroom a bit after he'd thrown out the empty boxes of food and filled the dishwasher with the cutleries, glasses and dirty dishes left in the sink. Once done with the small task, he went for the bedroom, breathing in and out slowly to calm his stupid heartbeat. He wasn't prepared to see Zero naked in the middle of the bedroom, drying his hair with a towel.

 

“Hey you.” The blond greeted him and Jude couldn't help smile at him.

“Hey.” He said nervously, which made Zero lift an eyebrow. “Congrats for your win tonight. I'm gonna go take a shower too, okay.”

 

Zero nodded, watching him as Jude nearly ran into the bathroom. Locking the door behind him, something he'd never done before when Zero was in the apartment, he undressed quickly and got into the shower. He exhaled loudly when he felt the strong and hot water spray on his skull. He felt so stupid behaving like that around Zero. So stupid being so self-conscious. And yet he couldn't shake the bit of shame he felt for the way he looked, which was something that had never bothered him before.

Later, when he came back into the bedroom, Zero was lying naked on the bed clearly waiting for him:

 

“Okay, I've never seen you act this weirdly before. What's going on Jude?”

“Nothing.” Jude said, making a poor job at lying to his boyfriend. “I'm just tired that's all.”

“Don't lie to me. I can see something's been bothering you. It's been bothering you since that day when you came to see me in the gym. Now, please, tell me what it is.”

“It's nothing really, Zero.”

“Jude...”

His feelings bottling up inside him and after the way Zero had just said his name, Jude couldn't really tell what'd caused it but he surprised himself exclaiming loudly:

 

“I feel self-conscious, okay. Since that day. Since I realized that you're surrounded by shirtless hot men with incredible abs all day every day I haven't... I haven't been feeling...”

“What?” Zero asked, getting up from the bed to come stand in front of Jude. “It's okay, Jude, you can tell me. What's bothering you so much?”

“What is it you find attractive in me exactly?” Jude asked in a whisper, unable to look at Zero's face.

“You could have anyone. Someone just as hot and perfectly built as you. A man with an incredible body like your teammates, like you and yet you're with me. I'm not hot or sexy. I'm fucking average, Zero. My stomach is soft and my hips are round. What is it that attracts you in me, I don't get it?”

“Oh, Jude...”Zero started softly only to be cut by Jude's cold voice,

"I don't want your pity, okay. Just answer me."

“It's not. It's not pity, I swear. I love you, alright. I love everything about you, stupid. Your body like your soul. I don't care about a man that works out and is built like a stud. I'd choose you over them over and over again anytime. You're perfect to me, don't you get it. And you truly don't realize how incredibly hot you are.”

“I don't...I'm not...” Jude tried to say, a lump forming in his throat. He felt so dumb feeling like he did and Zero's patience and reassuring tone made him shiver and cringe both at the same time.

 

Zero probably saw some of Jude's resistance starting to crumble because he took that one step still keeping them apart and grabbed the hem on Jude's t-shirt. Slowly, leaving Jude the opportunity to stop him anytime he'd feel like doing so, Zero took the top off of his lover leaving Jude shirtless in front of him. Kissing Jude left shoulder softly he started speaking in a very gentle voice as he made the sweatpants and underwear disappear as well:

 

“Do you know what I thought when I first saw you?”

“What?” Jude asked shyly, shaking his head.

“I thought, _'Well damn! **Who** are you?_ '” Jude grunted a bit, eyes meeting Zero's. “I did, alright.” The blond added, taking Jude's hands in his and pulling him towards the bed.

“I thought, who is that beautiful man? I felt pulled to you instantly, we were in a very serious meeting and yet I just couldn't stop looking at you, which you seemed to be totally oblivious to. You barely spared me a glance that day.”

“I was still a junior agent, you were the first important client the agency had asked me to work directly with, I just couldn't be distracted during that meeting. And I did thought you seemed to be a pompous ass. Hot, I'll admit. But still pompous as hell.”

“And yet, who would have thought we'd became friends so fast, right.”

“Who would've thought, indeed.”

“All that time, I had to keep myself in check each time we were together I was just so attracted to you. I wondered a few times if you might be gay or at least bi, but you never truly let anything show. So I tried flirting with you but you never took the bait, or at least never seemed to.”

“I knew you were flirting, I just… I never thought you did it consciously, I preferred believing it was some kind of default behavior with you.”

“It wasn't. I really was flirting. You were there so hot and sexy, and so fucking alluring in those well cut suits and you were completely unaware of the effect you had on people. Of the effect you had on me.”

“I just never felt like someone sexy or hot. I always just felt average.” Jude admitted softly, lying down against Zero when the blond pulled him to lie with him on the bed.

“You're everything but average, Jude. Let me show you just how much I love your body and how I think you're the hottest guy I've ever been with.”

 

Jude kept silent. He met Zero's eyes and the glimmer shining in them told him his boyfriend was more than serious. He let the other man manhandle him on the bed, Zero moving to come settle down in between Jude's open thighs.

 

“The first thing about you I fell in love with was your eyes. I spent days trying to guess if they were blue or green or a certain shade of grey, it's only when we went out for diner one day that I noticed that they were truly multiple shades of grey, not just one. The sun was shining through the window that day, and it lit your face making your eyes brighter than I'd ever seen them before. I think that's when I fell hopelessly in love with them.” Zero kissed each eyes close softly. Taking Jude by surprise, never before his lover had been so gentle, so romantic with him. So adamant in according so much tenderness and attention to each part of his body. Jude then felt Zero's finger run into his hair,

“Then were your hair. You always brush them out of your face and with the hair gel you style them with it was hard to tell how long they truly were but, more times than I can count, this little piece of them would fall over your forehead and brush against your right eye. Do you have any idea how much that drove me nuts and how much it still does? I always have to keep myself from putting it back in place when we're out in public, it would be so unprofessional of me to do it in front of your bosses, no matter how much I crave to do it each time that strands escapes its hair gel prison to just run freely against your skin. But do you know what I love the most about your hair?”

Jude shook his head, he was unable to talk by then. He felt an incredible wave of love grow bigger and bigger inside his chest for his lover and the way Zero's warm skin pressed and brushed against his made him harder than he'd ever himself be before.

“It's when they're like this, just natural. The way they curl softly, it makes me wanna run my fingers in them and never stop. And when we have sex I just can never keep myself from grabbing onto them.”

“I think...I've noticed.” Jude managed to pant.

“Oh I know you did. Just like I noticed how much it turns you on when I do.” Zero growled, voice low and sexy before he stole a kiss from Jude's lips.

“Then are your lips. Fuck, Jude your lips. I could kiss them endlessly if the need to breathe wasn't so important. It's like they were made to tempt me, always there for my reach and always forbidden for me to taste until that night you kissed me stupid in the limo. I pulled away because I was surprised, it's true, but inside I was just really happy and couldn't believe what you'd just did. It kept me going on the all time the team was playing out of town. I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. Couldn't stop thinking how soft and perfect your lips had felt against mine. So when you told me you were supposed to meet Danny, the photographer's assistant, at that party... Man, the jealousy I felt roar in me.”

“I knew you were jealous!”

“Can you blame me, one moment you're kissing me, the next you're rooting for me like I've never seen you do before and then you're telling me you're meeting with some other guy.”

“You didn't really gave me anything to keep me from doing it.”

“True. But to be honest, you scared me a little, Jude.”

“Why?” Jude asked, curious to know Zero's thoughts and taken aback by the revelation.

“Because… When you kissed me I felt something burst awake in me suddenly and it freaked me the hell out, it's why I pushed you away so much at first, it's why I insisted not wanting a relationship. What you made me feel it was just so foreign to me, so new that it scared the shit out of me. But I just couldn't let some other guy have you. It being Danny or that asshole Lucas. I just couldn't give you up.”

“You're so fucking possessive, you know that.”

“I know. But so are you.”

“True.”

“It's another thing I love about you.” Zero said, kissing Jude's jaw. Biting on his earlobe and then letting his mouth explore Jude's throat and the mole he had there. “You know what else I love about your body and that also drives me insane… All your moles. You're covered in them and this one on your throat is the most tempting and arousing of them all. I could spent an entire day just kissing and licking them.”

“Zero...” Jude panted softly, hands buried deep into the blond strands of his lover's hair.

“And then your shoulders, Jude. They're so squared and built and so are your arms and chest, it always reminds me how I'm with a real man, you know. It reminds how masculine you are and it's yet another big turn on. Your powerful thighs and how you always wrap them around my waist when we make love does it for me too. But what I love the most about your body is what others can't see, what others will never be able to see like I get to see them.”

Zero slid down on Jude's body leaving a trail of kisses on his way, he spend a very long time concentrating his full attention Jude's stomach. Kissing, licking and biting the soft skin. Tracing the soft roundness of Jude's hips.

“Yes, your stomach is softer than mine, but it doesn't mean it's not as tone as mine. Your abs may not be as sculpted as mine but I know there's powerful abs under that amazing soft skin. I wouldn't want you to have sculpted abs because I just love your stomach too damn much. So do not ever try changing that. Same goes for your hips. Your hips, baby. You can't even begin to imagine what I feel when I hold onto them. It's like they were thought to please me. To please my tastes. It's just the perfect amount of roundness for me to hold onto. Same goes for your ass. Your ass is fucking amazing, Jude. And small secret, it's even more amazing up close and personal.”

“Fuck, you're gonna make come and you still haven't touched me.” Jude moaned, hips rolling against Zero's in a vain attempt to get some release from his leaking cock. It was so hard, Jude feared it would explode if Zero didn't start taking care of it.

“Well, it'll have to wait cause I'm not done. I still have to talk to you about your hands and feet, about your long fingers and cute toes. About your neck and back...”

“I get it!” Jude cut him suddenly, unable to take it anymore. “I get it. I was stupid and insecure over nothing. You made your point. Now, please...Please, I need you to make me come, I'm going crazy here.”

“Anything for you, babe.” Zero whispered, smiling mischievously. Lowering himself a little more he took Jude's hard cock in his mouth and proceeded in giving his lover the best blow job ever. It didn't took long to make Jude come as the brunet was already so near to spilling his cum. Zero suck him dry until Jude pushed him back when he felt just too sensitive. Zero smiled and kissed him hungrily. “I love you, alright. And to me you're the most beautiful person ever. Don't you ever forget or doubt that.”

“I won't,” Jude confessed, shaking his head and kissing Zero back. “I love you too.”

“Good, cause the night is only starting, not being able to make love to you for so long almost gave me blue balls.”

**Author's Note:**

> **There you go. Enjoyed the reading???? Let me know. xoxo.**
> 
>  
> 
>  ** _Places you can also find me:_**  
>  **My tumblr** : [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)  
>  **My Twitter** : [TheShiWolf](http://twitter.com/Shinhia304)  
>  **My Instagram** : [theshiwolf.](https://www.instagram.com/theshiwolf/)  
>  **My Snapchat: Cici C.**


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